The driveway is full, the luggage brought inside;
The relatives are here and there’s no place to hide.
All is beautiful outside with leaves red and gold,
But havoc ensues when you cross the threshold.
Each bed is taken; the snacks have disappeared;
Uncle Joey is in the kitchen trimming his beard.
Grandma woke the baby when we just got him to sleep,
And Aunt Susan is complaining that the wine is too cheap.
The chore list is long and the grocery list doubled;
The nephews are causing mayhem — no room left untroubled.
The cousins just called, their plans changed last minute —
They’ll drive the van down tonight with all eight kids in it.
It’s only been an hour but the headache sets in
You’ve prepared plenty of aspirin for this long, long weekend.
Cheryl’s inspecting your room and wants to teach you how to embroider…
…It’s time for the hot tub holiday relative avoider.
Hidden in a gazebo away from prying faces
Is a warm, bubbly, massaging respite; it’s a private oasis.
Maybe you “forgot” to mention your hot tub to the relatives
Or maybe you were keeping it a secret for a moment like this.
A twenty-minute soak is all you’ll need to recharge
So your spirit is ready to deal with a family so large.
The company will wonder at this surprising change of mood|
But soon will move on when you bring out the food.
The chaos of Thanksgiving isn’t easy on the host,
So it’s nice to have an escape for the one who works the most.
Hand off some chores to anyone you see loiter,
And sneak out back to the hot tub holiday relative avoider.